Five years, five different doctors, eight surgeries, and countless highs and lows. Our motto through it all: “Don’t get too high, don’t get too low” and “Take it one day at a time.”
If you had asked me in my teens or 20s if I wanted children, I would have said no. My focus was on school and my career as a dental hygienist. That changed when I met Justin, the love of my life. Seeing how he was with kids, I knew he was meant to be a dad. We assumed parenthood would just happen—but it didn’t.
Looking back, the signs were always there. As a teen, I had heavy periods and cramps so bad I missed school. Birth control pills and later an IUD managed the symptoms, but no one looked deeper. At 18, a doctor once said I “might have problems” if I wanted kids. I laughed it off. Now, I understand.
Justin and I got married in 2019. When the pandemic hit in 2020, I had my IUD removed, and we started trying to conceive. Month after month, nothing happened. In 2021, I saw a reproductive endocrinologist at another clinic who suspected endometriosis. That began my long journey of tests, losses, and eight surgeries—treating fibroids, endometriosis, a uterine septum, and eventually scar tissue from Asherman’s syndrome.
Exploring our fertility benefits
We started our journey at another clinic. After two failed intrauterine inseminations (IUIs) that we paid for out of pocket, the front desk employee called and said that with our insurance through Justin’s company, we were eligible for Progyny. We learned that Progyny is an amazing fertility benefit that would pay for a huge amount of our costs. For those of you who don’t know what Progyny is, it’s a miracle company that specializes in fertility benefits. They are amazing, helpful, and paid for pretty much everything we needed, about 80/90% of the medications and procedures. If you don’t know your benefits and think your company may offer Progyny or other fertility benefits, find out more information. Progyny employees were helpful and organized when it came to my treatment.
Getting started with Dr. Emily Barnard SGF
In fall of 2022, we entered our Shady Grove Fertility era with Dr. Emily Barnard. I don’t know what we would have done without her knowledge and determination to help us make a family.
After a trip to New Orleans, we were ready to start our first round of in vitro fertilization (IVF). Throughout this journey, my unsolicited advice is to travel, take that trip. So, we continued our Ravens/ Orioles stadium tour, something that we enjoyed and kept us normal throughout this journey. At the end of the cycle, we ended up with 1 embryo.
A little break and healing
We did a fresh transfer right before Christmas 2022. It was a fail. No positive hCG. Not being able to tell my family I was pregnant at Christmas time was very hard. Our families knew about the IVF journey but didn’t know how hard it was finding out that it didn’t work. I kept it together the best I could that Christmas, but I really just wanted to stay in bed all day.
In spring of 2023, we did another round of IVF. Once you have done a round, you become an “expert” on what you need to do. This round of IVF yielded 4 embryos, which we froze, but did not test.
Finding another path forward
We finally moved forward with a frozen embryo transfer in June and found success! We had all 3 positive hCG blood tests at SGF, and we were ready for our first ultrasound appointments. Before that, a quick trip to the beach to celebrate the Fourth of July. It was so nice finally being pregnant! I could relax, and we would come home to our first ultrasound to see and hear our baby’s heartbeat. We figured the longer we wait for the ultrasound the more they will see.
Fast forward to a few days later, we heard devastating those words: “there is no heartbeat.” What a wild seven weeks. After this, we decided to PGT-A test the remaining embryos. We learned there were three normal embryos and one was mosaic.
We moved forward with another frozen embryo transfer in October. I was ready this time; I knew the process of PIO injections. Justin and I had a system with the PIO shots. For someone who has no medical training and is not a fan of doctors, he did very well. It was just another thing we had to do to help us fulfil our dreams of becoming parents, so every night he gave me the shot in the behind. We had both felt the excitement of seeing positive pregnancy tests, and I knew this time would be different. After three positive hCG tests at the clinic and this time, I wasn’t waiting for the ultrasounds. I was so sick on Sunday morning and couldn’t get off the couch. I had bad cramps and felt like my period was coming — all normal, I thought. According to the blood tests, I am pregnant, so it’s fine. The next day I was at work and started bleeding heavily. I called my doctor, and they scheduled me the next day for an ultrasound. I read that first trimester bleeding could be “normal” also called implantation bleeding, however it is not the case here. The next day was Halloween, and we had lost the pregnancy naturally, at five weeks.
Throughout this journey, we watched a lot of friends have kids, not just go to their baby showers, but their first, second, and even third birthdays. We were the “cool” aunt and uncle who showed up and celebrated. We also traveled a lot and always had a good time, but deep down it hurt a lot not being able to have a family of our own.
A second opinion made all the difference
In January 2024, I needed another opinion from a different doctor/ different clinic/ different specialist. There must be a reason for this not working. I still was having heavy periods and pain; it all had to be related. So, I sought out another doctor’s opinion. Enter Dr. P at Johns Hopkins, who happens to be friends with Dr. Barnard, which was very helpful. If you need another opinion, don’t be afraid to get one.
Dr. P was the first doctor who did a pelvic MRI. She found more fibroids and diagnosed me with adenomyosis and endometriosis. She suggested surgery, and I was ready again. Let’s start from the beginning.
I had surgery number 7 at Johns Hopkins. I actually worked half a day and had surgery that evening. I was a pro at this point, just get it done first available. After she put me under anesthesia, she couldn’t do the surgery because of the scar tissue blocking the uterus. She couldn’t even enter my uterus without ultrasound guidance.
I returned to Hopkins for surgery under anesthesia. The fibroids were removed, and surgery was successful.
Dr. Robinson’s thoughtful approach to care
After the surgery, I returned to SGF for another SIS ultrasound, but my uterus still wasn’t clear. After speaking to Dr. Barnard, we weighed some options. I was ready to start looking for a surrogate. Dr. Barnard had one more option for me before we explored surrogacy. Enter Dr. Robinson at SGF’s Rockville location.
That summer was a blur. I had to switch my days off at work so we could make the hour and half drive for more procedures. Dr. Robinson was new at SGF but was a specialist in Asherman’s syndrome. This was my final diagnosis, which was the reasoning for all the scar tissue, and the reason why all the surgeries were unsuccessful and why I could not heal correctly. He saw me every other week for three months, for four procedures total, I was awake, and he talked me though what he was doing: removing the scar tissue and adhesions and making the lining of the uterus clear. This was the last chance for us. We only had two embryos left before looking into surrogacy.
In October 2024, we finally had the all clear! Dr. Robinson released us and gave us the go ahead to start an embryo transfer. Before that, we decided to do Lupron for two months prior to treatment.
A personally tailored protocol
Dr. Barnard did what she called a “kitchen sink” embryo transfer protocol. I had a feeling this time would be different. I was taking medications five times a day, but I didn’t care. We transferred right before Christmas.
The day after Christmas, I home tested early. I received a positive at home pregnancy test. I knew I would have a baby this time. With a bunch of at-home tests, the lines kept getting darker as the days went on. A few weeks of testing at SGF and all the blood tests and ultrasounds confirmed my pregnancy. We finally heard the most amazing sound- for the first time our baby girl’s heartbeat.
I graduated from SGF with a baby in my belly. As we walked out those doors for the last time, so many emotions came over. The stress and anxiety, as well as happiness, all came over me at once.
Looking back at the ups and downs
Pregnancy after loss and infertility is tricky and not talked about enough. I had a lot of complications during my pregnancy. I had first trimester heavy bleeding at eight weeks. I didn’t want to find out the gender or announce on social media because I didn’t want to “jinx” my pregnancy. I didn’t buy a single baby thing until my 20-week scan. At my 20-week scan they found some complications: vasa and placenta previa. I had three gestational diabetes tests, a 24-hour urine analysis, and weekly monitoring, more ultrasounds and non- stress tests at the end of my pregnancy. I had high blood pressure and anxiety at every appointment. Every time I went to the bathroom I would stress about bleeding, and I would worry when she didn’t move. We ended up having an early planned c-section at 35 weeks and 4 days. She ended up in the NICU for 9 days after birth. Leaving the hospital without her in my arms and not having her next to my bedside was by far the most difficult obstacle we faced. However, dispute all the heartaches and ups and downs, our baby girl is happy and healthy.
Always trust your body
Jocelyn Michele was born on August 8, 2025, and our hearts are so full. I still don’t believe she is here, and this is real. I hope this story will help at least one person, to never give up and to always trust your body. Do not be afraid to ask questions and seek another opinion. I will always educate my daughter on our story, and I will teach her to be open about her reproductive health and not be afraid to talk about her body.
