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We all know the best advice comes from someone who has walked in our shoes. As we approach the holidays in the next few weeks, read this advice from current and past patients on the best ways to find the joy in your life during the holidays!

Tara: I coped by helping others by volunteering and giving to those less fortunate; it made me feel so good!! I also spent time with loved ones and tried not to think about myself too much.

Alice: The holidays for me always seemed to be the worst. Everyone came around, and they all had their children and of course I didn’t…there was no way to avoid the situation. I had two nephews and a niece plus all my cousins had children. I was literally the only one without a child.
I tried to keep my focus on the future. As much as I doubted that I would ever have biological children, somewhere deep down I knew I would be a mother. I knew I would have the experience everyone else was enjoying; it was just a matter of when.

I tried to enjoy the company of the kids in my family. I spoiled them with gifts, took tons of pictures, and spent hours playing with them. I know that sounds strange considering the rest of the year I avoided them like the plague because it was too hard and being around them made me cry, but for some reason embracing them made the holidays easier to enjoy. I guess I kind of felt like – if you can’t beat them join them. There was no escaping the dozen children running around me so I might as well embrace it. Which is what I wanted to do but it was hard to do while going through infertility.

At the holidays, we are supposed to be thankful for what we already have and appreciate the gifts we have already been given. It’s definitely hard to do that while struggling to have a child, but in order to get through the difficult times, try to stay positive. I was a very negative person when we started struggling with infertility, but thankfully God gave me a very positive and encouraging husband who taught me a lot throughout the process.

Jasmine: Getting through the holidays was always very difficult. When I became a more “seasoned” fertility challenged person, I learned that I had to make personal boundaries. I learned not to feel pressured to do it all, and it is ok not to accept every holiday invitation. I also focused on family traditions that involved only my husband and myself or stuck with adult only parties. If you don’t protect yourself and your emotions, you might have a difficult time getting through the holidays. I also had a few responses prepared to questions that people who didn’t know us would ask about our family building situation. This made me feel prepared and protected.

Jessica: I had a lot of family support. I was very open with my extended family about going through IVF. One of my aunts used SGF over 17 years ago in order to become pregnant with her first child, so it was great to be able to talk to her about my struggles when we were going through treatment. We were in the midst of an IVF cycle during the holidays. I found the more open I was with family and friends the more relaxed I became throughout all of the shots and then the two week wait. I started my shots in November 2012 and found out the week before Christmas we were pregnant with our daughter. Best Christmas gift in the whole world! We are blessed to be able to spend our first Thanksgiving and Christmas with her this year.

Jennifer: The holidays can definitely be hard to get through when battling infertility. It’s easy for the whole season to get jumbled up, but it helps to just deal with each holiday as it comes. The holidays tend to be about family, but instead of thinking of the family you are trying to start, think of and enjoy the family (including friends) you already have. I found at times I would have to be selfish and protect myself by maybe skipping an event that I knew would upset me. People will understand, and if they don’t, they will get over it! It also helped me to know that the season is temporary and would pass, so looking forward to any good things I had coming up kept me going.

Kerry: I treated the holidays like any other month and kept powering on.  I do believe that some women should stop for the month, and I usually never advise that since I think it’s best to keep going so you don’t lose momentum. But for some, the holiday season is just a reminder that they are childless. So surround yourself with family and friends, and just eat, relax, and enjoy all the comforts of the holidays. Don’t add to the stress by having shots and a dozen doctor appointments. Let go for just this month and spoil yourself.

Isabella: We tried to protect ourselves by limiting holiday interactions that might be uncomfortable and doing fun stuff together. Sometimes that meant declining group invitations, but it helped. Also, we set boundaries on what was acceptable for conversation, so that those nosy relatives asking when we were having kids were avoided, or we used conversation ending statements.

Lesley: The holidays can be a really tough time if you are struggling with infertility. Even though it’s hard, you still have to remember that holidays are supposed to be a happy time for everyone, including those struggling with infertility. One thing that I did to help me stay happy and upbeat was treating myself to something special. I found out that my first IVF cycle was unsuccessful two days before Thanksgiving, so the time between then and Christmas, I treated myself to extra gifts. One thing in particular was a pair of fuzzy slippers. So even though I might have been moping around the house a little bit, I was doing it comfortably. I still have those slippers, and I still wear them. Only now when I wear them, they remind me of that time but not of sadness. They remind me to be grateful and happy for what I do have. Now when I wear them, I think of my two beautiful Shady Grove Fertility miracles, and I say thank you for helping those hard times pass.

Another thing that I did was I tried to find the positives in celebrating without children. I was able to go out and attend events that I wouldn’t have been able to take children to and all the while I would tell myself, ‘I need to enjoy this now because this will be my last holiday without a baby.’ I think that it is important even during the holidays to just celebrate and live in the moment, but always keep the faith that you will have success one way or another in having your family. Good luck, ladies, and happy holidays!

Lindsey: The holidays can be very tough and affect people in different ways. It also depends on who you spend time with and what they know about your situation. Last Thanksgiving, we were going through our fourth IUI and found out that it had not worked right after the holiday. We were devastated. I was looking on Shady Grove Fertility’s website for something, anything that would give me hope. And that is when I found a support group. I thought that I would give it a try once, and if nothing else, it would help us get through the holidays. A support group is great at the holidays. We met in December and heard everyone’s feelings about the holidays, what they were worried about, how they planned on dealing with things, etc. We enjoyed it so much that we went back in January and heard about what happened and how people dealt with the holidays. The support group was probably the best thing that we did, and joining at holiday time was perfect for us!

Christine: We scheduled our first appointment with Shady Grove Fertility in early January, so we were very focused on that and what the next year hopefully would hold. We kept busy with preparing and traveling for the holidays and just kept hoping that the next year would bring us joy (and it did).

Meghan: Getting through the holidays is always tough, but it is doable. Do what you want for the holidays. Don’t add any extra pressure on yourself. If the family and friends you will be celebrating the holidays with are aware of the fertility issues you are having, ask that they not bring it up in conversation. If someone isn’t aware of your situation but does bring up the dreaded question, “So when are you going to have a baby?”, try to have a response ready and change the subject as quickly as possible.

If you have questions about fertility or are ready to schedule an appointment at Shady Grove Fertility, please speak with one of our New Patient Liaisons at 877-971-7755.

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Dr. Eric Levens and Dr. Rachana Garde speak with attendees at the Richmond Fertility Workshop.

Last month, Shady Grove Fertility physicians and staff visited the Fertility Workshop: Taking Control of Your Ticking Clock at the University of Richmond. The Richmond Fertility Workshop hosted nearly 100 couples for lectures from reproductive endocrinologists, a psychologist, an acupuncturist, and a financial expert. One of the presenters was one of Shady Grove Fertility’s psychologists, Dr. Erica Mindes. Dr. Mindes has a special interest in helping couples needing fertility treatment to conceive

and is available for sessions at Shady Grove Fertility’s offices in Annandale and Woodbridge, VA.

Kendra Noll, Patient Liaison at Shady Grove Fertility, speaks with a guest at the Richmond Fertility Workshop.

Kendra Noll, Patient Liaison at Shady Grove Fertility, attended the event and shared the value of having men and women go to these types of workshops. “We have so many patients that come up from the Richmond and Virginia Beach areas. The event gave patients the opportunity to speak with physicians and other professionals to ask questions regarding fertility treatment.”

Dr. Eric Levens and Dr. Rachana Garde also represented Shady Grove Fertility at this Richmond Fertility Workshop hosted by the RESOLVE group from the Richmond area. Both Dr. Levens and Dr. Garde spoke with men and women prior to the lectures and answer any questions regarding treatment options.

One of the featured speakers at the Richmond Fertility Workshop as Candace from MTV’s True Life: I’m Desperate to Have a Baby. From the Virginia, she was able to share her experience of struggling to conceive and multiple rounds of fertility treatment.

 
Shady Grove Fertility welcomes patients from the Richmond area as well as the rest of Virginia. Depending on distance from one of our offices, many patients are eligible to have a free phone consultation with a physician prior to visiting our fertility center.

If you are struggling to conceive, speak with one of our friendly New Patient Liaisons by calling 888-971-7755 or clicking here.

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Egg Freezing at Shady Grove FertilityShady Grove Fertility introduces Assure Fertility, a revolutionary financial program for egg freezing. Assure Fertility is the only program of its kind offering women up to 4 rounds of treatment or 20 high-quality eggs to freeze for 1 fixed cost. This program minimizes uncertainty while increasing the chances of a woman achieving pregnancy in the future, using her own eggs.

What is Egg Freezing? Who is it for?

Eggsurance.com nailed it: Definitely. Someday. Just not now.

Egg freezing is for proactive women who want to ensure they have the option of having children at some point down the line. The term egg freezing – or fertility preservation – is the process in which women not currently in the position to have children, freeze their eggs for future family building.

As a woman ages, her eggs age as well, leading to decline in fertility over time. This is where egg freezing comes in to play. While the natural decline in reproductive potential will continue, eggs that are banked for future use are essentially frozen in time, staying the same age as when they were retrieved. Like an insurance policy, it may provide peace of mind, even if the eggs are not needed.

Developing New Financial Options for Egg Freezing

Over the last year, Shady Grove Fertility has seen a significant increase in the number of patients interested in freezing their eggs. With this increase, Shady Grove Fertility evaluated the difficulties associated with egg freezing and what prevented some women from freezing their eggs – and for many there was a financial barrier to access care. According to Joseph Doyle, MD “due to the increased patient interest in egg freezing, and a desire to better serve our patients, we developed a new financial program to make egg freezing more accessible.”

“In a normal cycle, not every egg will result in a pregnancy, therefore the average couple takes 5 to 6 months to achieve a pregnancy. Due to this statistic, we recommend starting with 6 or more thawed eggs in order to develop a high quality embryo with strong pregnancy potential.  By freezing a group of 15-20 eggs, multiple attempts at conception will be possible,” explains Dr. Doyle.

In other words, depending on age, the optimal number of eggs to freeze is 15-20, and on average a woman will produce 10 viable eggs per cycle. Therefore, on average, a woman with normal ovarian reserve will need a minimum of 2 cycles to produce enough eggs to better guarantee the possibility of having a child in the future. At $7,500 per cycle, not including medications, egg freezing was a very expensive option and without the guarantee of getting enough eggs, a hard choice for individuals to make.

NEW Egg Freezing Financial Options at Shady Grove Fertility

Shady Grove Fertility now provides financial options for patients going through other forms of treatment, and with new, reliable data, we were able to construct financial programs for women who want to freeze their eggs.

  • Egg Freezing Fee for Service – The baseline for egg freezing treatment. If you are approved for egg freezing treatment, you are approved for this financial option.
  • Assure Fertility for Egg Freezing – Designed for the most ideal candidates for egg freezing, Assure Fertility provides women with the coverage they need to preserve future fertility.
  • Egg Freezing Discount Program – The Egg Freezing Discount Program makes egg freezing more affordable for women who may need multiple egg freezing cycles.

Learn more about Shady Grove Fertility’s Egg Freezing Financial Programs

ASRM Reports: Proven Egg Freezing Success

On October 22, 2012, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) lifted the experimental label from the technique used for egg freezing. It was proven that “patients using egg freezing techniques have shown to produce pregnancy rates, leading to the birth of healthy babies, comparable to IVF cycles using fresh eggs (ASRM 2012),” allowing this technique to be considered a mainstream option for fertility treatment.

“We are very pleased that over the years we have shown high success rates and pregnancy rates from thawed eggs. This has become a very mainstream endeavor and we are pleased that the ASRM has validated that effort,” explains Shady Grove Fertility physician, Gilbert L. Mottla, MD.

Whether a woman is considering donor egg from a frozen egg bank or freezing her own eggs to preserve fertility for later due to cancer or advancing age, patients now have more options. Women can be more confident moving forward with a proven technology that has been tested and vetted at Shady Grove Fertility and other centers nationwide.

To learn more about egg freezing or are ready to schedule an appointment, please call 877-411-9292.

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Many women and men having trouble conceiving often have similar questions about fertility treatment, the associated costs, and if they will ultimately be successful. A panel of successful Shady Grove Fertility patients answer these questions about fertility which have been submitted from other patients and those interested in learning more about fertility treatment.

Question: What was the hardest part of your IVF cycle? How did you afford your IVF cycle? Was it successful on the first cycle?

Questions About Fertility – Answered by Fertility Patients

Kerry: The hardest part of our IVF cycle was the emotional part of waiting and thinking about what if this doesn’t work, then what do we do? When you get to the point of having to do IVF, you have already been through so much emotionally with trying to get pregnant. The good thing about going through it is that you have a hope that your dreams of having a child will come true. We have been fortunate to have 4 wonderful children through IVF but we have had a lot of heartbreak too which comes with infertility. We had 8 miscarriages before my 1st son was born, lost another baby that was a twin of my second son and just very recently had a miscarriage at 19 weeks from a frozen embryo transfer. Those are the hardest parts of being a fertility patient and learning how to get through that.

We all know that IVF is very expensive. We went through 3 fresh cycles and were very fortunate that all were successful on the first try. We used frozen embryos in between our 1st and 2nd sons and none took. We did have a successful frozen embryo that took after our 3rd son and we had a daughter. Before we had to go to fertility treatments, I never would have imagined spending this much money on having kids and we are not people that have a ton of money either. To do our IVF cycles, we took out loans and a line of credit on our mortgage as well as borrowed from our 401K. To do our frozen embryo transfers, we used my husband’s flexible spending from his work. We are still paying back all of our loans but we have never thought about the money because we feel so fortunate to have our kids. I think when you go through as much as people do with infertility; you are able to gain a different perspective about what is truly important in life. Don’t let money deter you if you can find a way to do it. We do put a lot of faith in God because sometimes that is all you have to hang on to. Good luck on your journey!

Christine: By far the hardest part for me was the emotional side and the wait after retrieval and before transfer. I did not have very many eggs retrieved and worried that I would not even get to the embryo transfer (but I did twice, and have a 22 month old and am 9 weeks pregnant with our second). The two week wait was also hard but I felt a little more in control of things at that point because the embryo(s) were in me. We did the Shared Risk program for our first cycle (and got pregnant on the first try) but felt better about choosing that program as we knew what the costs were and did not have to stress over additional money if it did not work the first time. Both of my IVF cycles were successful on the first try. We have male factor infertility and did IVF with ICSI.

Holly: Before I started this process, I would have thought that 100% of the answers would be all the shots, blood work, and ultrasounds. But to be honest, my hardest part was the 2 weeks wait. After transfer, not knowing if your miracle is growing inside of you or not, if it’s healthy, etc… is hard to go through. During this time, you NEED to make time for yourself, time for you and your partner, and take care of yourself!! I cried every night during those two weeks while getting my shots.. .always questioning if it worked. Our first two IVF cycles failed (one failed at 7 weeks of pregnancy). We will be back at Shady Grove Fertility in 2014 to try again. I can say we were extremely lucky and our place of business gave us $15,000 towards treatment and after that we were only responsible for 10%.

Rachel: The hardest part of the IVF cycle was the fact that you were actively thinking about it all of the time, surprisingly even more than just trying to conceive the traditional way. IVF requires that you be monitored frequently, give yourself shots, have egg retrieval etc. There was something, almost daily that you had to do or have done to you to ensure that the process went smoothly. I think having those to-do items on my list each day made me feel even more emotional and strung out than I had in previous cycles where I was perhaps just trying to have sex during certain times, or even just taking meds by mouth. Never before had I been so invested in an uncertain outcome!

My husband and I were always invested emotionally each month as we tried to get pregnant. However, with IVF, all of the things we had to do to get to the final embryo transfer made us feel even more emotionally invested.

Financially, we could not afford it without taking out a loan. We used Fertility Finance and took out a loan to help pay for IVF. We didn’t feel like we were gambling with our money, as we participated in Shady Grove Fertility’s Shared Risk program (essentially guaranteeing we would get our money back if our IVF cycles did not eventually result in a baby).

We were very fortunate – we did get pregnant as a result of our first IVF cycle. If you would want to read more specifically about our step by step of the IVF cycle with Shady Grove Fertility, feel free to read some of my blog posts, detailing our experience: http://inconceivablefaith.blogspot.com/search/label/IVF

Kathleen: We had a small amount of insurance coverage and used Fertility Finance to pay for the majority of the costs.

Jessica: The hardest part for me was the weight gain. Not everyone experiences weight gain from the hormones but my body retained fluid right from the start. During the entire process it was really hard to see my weight increase so much from where I started. It wasn’t until after my daughter was born that I was truly okay with the weight gain. My husband and I paid for part of the treatment with cash and used a 0% interest credit card for the rest. Our insurance covers fertility but my husband had a vasectomy when he was married to his first wife so it negated all insurance coverage. Be prepared to spend a little more than you are quoted. My estrogen levels were not high enough so we had to get another $1,700 worth of medication halfway through the treatment cycle.  We did the Shared Risk program with Shady Grove Fertility. We were lucky and were successful on our first attempt. We had a grade A embryo and just transferred one. We have two frozen embryos for future use :).

Nitita:  The hardest part for me was the thought of giving myself the injections, being that both my husband and I are terrified of needles. I remember when I first gave myself one of the many injections, I thought I was going to pass out but it wasn’t that bad once I followed all the instructions and I can honestly say I became a pro at it. My husband and I were able to afford the IVF cycle because insurance covered us at 50%. We paid out of pocket for the rest, and thank goodness for us we only did one round of IVF after two failed IUI’s and it worked. Best of luck and well wishes!

Megan: The hardest part of the IVF cycle is the constant shots and of course the unknown of if it will work or not. Staying positive and making the shots as part of your daily routine makes it a little easier. My first IVF cycle did result in a pregnancy but then ended a few weeks later in miscarriage. My second cycle was a Frozen Embryo Transfer was also successful and that was the pregnancy that lasted and I now have 2 beautiful twin daughters.  Always have faith that you will in the end get the outcome you want.

Yuliya: The hardest part was the uncertainty of the outcome. We had insurance coverage for just one try. There was lots of pressure. I found that talking to friends, to a psychologist specializing in infertility, and online TTC communities was very helpful. Yoga, reiki, massage, and swimming, and a diet change helped too. I did get pregnant on the first try, but I miscarried at 8 weeks. In our case, we were able to freeze 3 embryos. I took 3 months off from treatment and came back for a FET. A FET only costs a fraction of a fresh IVF. We transferred 2 embryos, and one of them became my beautiful baby girl!!!

Andrea: The hardest part of my IVF cycle was definitely the emotional aspect of wondering if it was going to work for us or not. We ultimately decided to utilize Shady Grove Fertility’s Shared Risk program to maximize our chances of success while paying a flat fee. We also had the peace of mind of knowing that if we didn’t bring home a baby that we would get a 100% refund of the money we spent.

We decided to use Fertility Finance to assist us with financing the cost of Shared Risk. It was a great option for us since it allowed us to make monthly payments rather than pay for our treatment in full up front. Our first fresh cycle of IVF was unsuccessful. It was very disappointing but since we were in the Shared Risk program, we didn’t have the added financial stress of paying for another cycle. We then moved on to a frozen embryo transfer to transfer our frozen embryos that we had leftover from the first cycle. We made the decision with our doctor to transfer both of our frozen embryos and we now have 20-month old boy/girl twins.

If you have questions about fertility or are ready to schedule an appointment at Shady Grove Fertility, please speak with one of our New Patient Liaisons at 877-971-7755.

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Just a few years ago, infertility was a battle that many struggled with in silence and yet 1 in 8 couples have taken on the journey to overcome infertility. Thanks to companies like Ferring, and the opportunity for couples to share their infertility journey has helped increase awareness.  This August, Ferring provided the opportunity for couples who had struggled with infertility and used Ferring fertility products to help them conceive through the Heart to Heart, Share Your Story Video Contest. Entrants submitted a short video with a focus on “Every Step of the Way”.

Heart to Heart Video Contest Prizes

  • Grand Prize: a $15,000 educational fund
  • Runner Ups: $2,000 educational fund (4 prizes awarded)

Vote for Your Favorite

The video with the most votes will win the grand prize. An individual can vote for 1 video, 1 time per day now through October 21st, 2013.

Heart to Heart Video Contest Finalists

There are 5 finalists this year and Shady Grove Patients, Aren Dodge and her husband, Jeff,  are in the running! Aren and Jeff had their daughter in January after 4 IVF cycles and a rocky infertility journey.

To vote for your favorite video, please visit: https://hearttoheartcontest.com/

Want to share your story? https://www.shadygrovefertility.com/share-your-story
If you would like to discuss your fertility options or to schedule an appointment at Shady Grove Fertility, please speak with one of our New Patient Liaisons at 877-971-7755.

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by Marcie Miller, LMT – Massage Therapist with Pulling Down the Moon

The Autonomic Nervous System is a subdivision of the the nervous system that regulates proper organ function, maintains homeostasis, and helps us adapt to change. Within the ANS are two branches that govern bodily operations: the parasympathetic and the sympathetic. Imagine each branch on opposite ends of a seesaw; they sway together with one end acting more strongly than the other at any given time in order to ensure balance.

The parasympathetic division dominates during relaxation and allows healing within the body, nutrient absorption & waste disposal, calming of the mind, and improved endocrine (hormone) and immune system function.

On the opposite end, the sympathetic division is in charge of action, increasing the heart rate, blood flow to muscles, and mental activity.

The Affect of the Autonomic Nervous System

Autonomic Nervous System – Parasympathetic and Sympathetic Divisions


When the Autonomic Nervous System is in balance, our body’s organs and systems are in harmony, we feel equipped to handle challenges with confidence and control. We have time to rest and rejuvenate ourselves before the next challenge presents itself.

When balance is disturbed our sympathetic nervous system is perpetually “on” causing the fight or flight response. We become overwhelmed by stress, often allowing little offenses large portions of our energy; we end up pushing ourselves too hard at the expense of sleep, sanity, and health. In times of extreme distress when the body’s main concern is survival, the reproductive system becomes the least important (in terms of personal survival) and therefore is often the first system to shut down.

Taking care of ourselves is tantamount to taking care of life’s responsibilities. Relaxation, meditation, massage and bodywork, deep breathing, yoga, acceptance and letting go are all ways to help bring the body into balance and create a more healthy living space within yourself.

A few years ago, a woman came to me for massage during her fertility treatments. Each cycle, one of her five frozen embryos was transferred, and each cycle she received a Fertility Enhancing Massage (FEM). Every session she came in pretty wound up and  stressed with the pressure to conceive, but she would leave our office transformed, blissful, and floating on air. After 3 failed attempts she finally made the decision to take care of herself not only physically but mentally well. She told me, “This is our last cycle and they’re putting the last two embryos in. But I’m done stressing, whatever happens, happens.” By allowing herself to let go of expectation she helped the sympathetic nervous system take a much needed break; the parasympathetic brought her body back into balance and now she has two little girls who will one day thank her!

Learn more about massage for fertiltiy, call 888-604-7525 or schedule an appointment online.

If you would like to schedule an appointment with a fertility specialist, please speak with one of our New Patient Liaisons at 877-971-7755.

This article was submitted as a guest writer. The opinions expressed in the article do not necessarily represent the opinions of Shady Grove Fertility Center.

2026 Shady Grove Fertility

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