Coping with the loss of a child is one of worst nightmares any parent can image. When the loss is of an infant or a yet unborn child, “you are grieving prospectively; that is, you are grieving the hope and dreams of what you believed was to come,” Sharon N. Covington MSW, LCSW-C, Director of Shady Grove Fertility’s Psychological Support Services explains. Covington further goes on to explain, that especially with a pregnancy loss, your grief may seem out of balance with the grief of those around you, but grieving is an important part of the healing process.
> Read Pregnancy Loss: Healing the Invisible Loss
In 2006, the U.S. House of Representatives declared that October 15th would be recognized as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. So today, October 15th, it is asked that we light a candle at 7pm local time and have it burn for 1 hour. Read more about the wave of light on October 15th.
Pregnancy Loss
Last week, many of you may have seen this image on Shady Grove Fertility’s Facebook page – “1 in 4 is not just a statistic. It’s me. ” It was shared on many other sites as well – our community is no stranger to pregnancy loss, and several community members shared their stories, including Lisa:
“After enduring years of disappointment, we sought help in Shady Grove… We went thru 4 failed IUI’s and finally got pregnant with our first IVF cycle. At 35 weeks the baby’s movement slowed and then stopped. We found out that he had passed in utero. After 12 hours of laboring, I delivered our oh so still-baby boy. We then went on to have two healthy baby boys but you never get over the loss of a baby that never had a first cry, never opened his eyes, never took a breath, and never ever would speak the words Mommy or Daddy.”
Many people don’t realize how common miscarriages are. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), up to 25% of all pregnancies result in miscarriage. While miscarriage is not uncommon, only 5% of couples will have 2 miscarriages and the only about 1% will have 3 or more miscarriages. Recurrent pregnancy loss – 2 or more miscarriages – can be very trying mentally and physically as you try to build a family. SGF and RESOLVE both host support groups for those that have dealt with pregnancy loss.
> View the ASRM Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Fact Sheet
> See a listing of upcoming support groups at Shady Grove Fertility
> See a listing of upcoming support groups through RESOLVE
When it comes to treating recurrent pregnancy loss, it may be recommended to do genetic testing, as there may be genetic conditions that are causing the miscarriages. Genetic testing can help ensure a healthy embryo is transferred during fertility treatment procedures.
> Read the Emotional Effects of Recurrent Pregnancy Loss
> Read Dr. Naveed Khan’s “2 Miscarriages = 1 Bad Day”
Infant Loss
Less than 1% of infants will pass away in the United States – which is 1% too many for the families coping with the loss.
Lisa Rushton and Charlie Pereira were the proud parents of Savannah, born April 30th, 2009. Savannah was a happy and active young baby girl, who called her parents Momma and Dada, smiled, gave kisses and loved music. At just 10 months old, Savannah’s life was lost when she got tangled in a monitor cord that was near her crib.
Lisa and Charlie have used Savannah’s loss to educate others. Sharing their story, showing how innocent things can be dangers for young ones. They were integral in having the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission release a warning about monitors near cribs. They have also teamed up with the Tinina Q. Cade Foundation to start the Savannah Grant. The Cade Foundation distributes Family Building Grants across the country to those seeking adoption for fertility treatment. The Savannah’s Grant is one such grant designed specifically for families needing financial assistance to pursue IVF treatment.
Lisa and Charlie are on their way to rebuilding their family. At this year’s Cade Foundation Race for the Family, they shared their story with the crowd and Lisa was happily sporting a baby bump.
To learn more about the Savannah’s Grant or to donate, click here.
So tonight at 7pm, light your candle and help remember all those that our community has lost. And if you have been struggling with pregnancy loss and would like to consult with a specialist, call 1-877-971-7755 or click here.
