To my husband on Father’s Day-

Infertility makes it easy to feel bitter, especially when it feels as if everyone around you is pregnant or has a child. I get angry, mad, and confused about how I am not a mother yet. Most of all, I feel sad that I can’t make you a father. You aren’t someone I needed to “talk into” having a baby. You always wanted a family and it hurts my heart when I see how amazing you are with our friends’ children. I know you will be the most incredible father. You will be the fun Dad that will be involved in our child’s life. You will be our child’s very best friend. Our baby is already the luckiest little angel because they will have you.

You are my rock, but on another Father’s Day where we don’t have a baby, I know you feel sad, too. You don’t express your sadness in the same way that I do, but I know your heart also aches for a baby. Just know that every blood draw, injection, and doctor’s appointment is for US. I can handle any treatment because I know that it is just one step closer to you becoming a father.

Words will never be able to thank you enough for always supporting me and holding me up during this journey. Infertility is like a constant mist of sadness, but then holidays that are centered on parenthood, feel like a giant wave that could drown me. You keep me above water. You keep me fighting toward our goal of having a healthy baby. Your positive attitude never ceases to amaze me.

Thank you for wiping away my tears, holding my hand, and pouring that much-needed glass of wine after a negative beta. I can’t imagine this journey with anyone else. Infertility has made me strong, but it has also strengthened our bond. Stressful life situations can hurt a marriage, but infertility has brought us closer together. You’re my best friend and starting our family will be the greatest adventure. I don’t know when our baby will come, but I know it will happen. You will be a father. You will be the absolute best father. This Father’s Day, we are allowed to feel sad, but we can also feel hopeful that maybe next year our baby will be with us.

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