Azuree and I met in 2010. We both feel like we struck gold in meeting each other, and in our dating always discussed having children. It was never a question of if, but more of a question of when and how many. Azuree is an only child and I’m the first of three, so we thought two was a good compromise! Fast forward, we got married in 2014. We decided it was time after attending Azuree’s goddaughter’s first birthday, who had also been conceived with the help of Shady Grove Fertility.
Coming to SGF
We met with Dr. Osborn in December 2015, and we felt very comfortable with her and our nurse Myasia. Initially, we planned to start trying in the following 6 months, but we felt so good about our interaction, we started right away getting all the pre-treatment items checked off our list. We started treatment in March 2016 with unmedicated intrauterine insemination (IUI) using donor sperm.
Picking our donor was relatively easy! We used Fairfax Cryobank, and after reading an essay and hearing the donor’s voice we knew we had the right person. He wanted to be a teacher, and Azuree is a teacher! After two unsuccessful tries, we took a break over the summer to relax and not feel like the process was becoming a chore.
It’s hard because you put expectations and hopes into every cycle, and it was feeling like it wasn’t happening in the time frame we had set. But talking about it together and leaning into conversations with others going through the process was helpful. I also continued to go to therapy, receive acupuncture, and did yoga to help me stay centered and feeling in control of my body.
We had more testing done and I was diagnosed with PCOS. This gave us the knowledge we needed to proceed with medicated IUI. A few days after our last try, before we discovered it was successful, we re-affirmed why we were doing this and that we weren’t going to stop again until it worked. I think taking the break over the summer to recharge and refocus really helped us commit to treatment again.
We continued to use therapy as an outlet, and I continued to do yoga, acupuncture, and lots of affirmations, which kept me positive and not obsessive about what was going to happen. What really helped me keep the peace mentally that last try was doing a vision board. Being able to visualize what our family would look like was helpful. We got pregnant on the first try with medication!
Our first ultrasound we discovered we were having twins and couldn’t have been more excited and happy! Sage and Ari were born on June 13th. Even though “graduating” from Shady Grove Fertility was always the goal, I still miss the kind and supportive staff there.
Life with twins
Life with our two miracles is busy! We are so, so happy. I genuinely can’t believe I get to live this life! We are so fortunate and SO grateful to feel like our family is complete. When you dream about what you want your life to be like as a kid, I feel like we are living that dream. We look back at the time we spent worrying about when it was going to happen and laugh. We had no idea the abundance that was coming!
Advice for future and current SGF sisters
When we were working with SGF we only told our very close friends. It can be difficult to get constant questions about what is happening or not happening, and it really is a very personal journey to include the world on. We felt less pressure about getting pregnant and more comfortable about just letting things happen by not telling a whole bunch of people.
Creating a self-care habit will be helpful for parenthood too! If you don’t understand, ask questions! Our nurse was so patient and kind and responsive, I never had to wonder what was going on. We feel so lucky to live so close to an amazing fertility clinic.
Also, comparison is the stealer of joy—focusing on what other people are doing doesn’t help. We both disengaged with social media for a while. It can be frustrating and sad to see other people getting pregnant when you are going through this, so give yourself permission to check out for a few days or longer if you have to. You’ll be happier when you aren’t constantly seeing other people get what you want if it’s not happening how you expected.
I would say to future patients that it’s important to remember to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself mentally. There are tons of people that have done this before and are great resources. They can help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.