My husband and I met in 2002 and married in 2007. All my life I wanted to be a mom—I wanted five kids and Jeremy wanted one. We compromised at three. I always said that after marriage there would be the house, the dog, and the baby. House and dog came within 4 months of each other in 2009. We loved making the house ours and training our Charlie. Something was missing though and little did we know it would take 6 years to fill that void.
Due to being diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome(PCOS) at 16 and being in my late 30s when we were ready to try, my OB/GYN referred us to Shady Grove Fertility as a precaution. It was the best decision we ever made. SGF confirmed what we knew all along— we needed help to become parents.
Going through infertility was lonely; no one tells you that. You know deep down you’re not the only one, but when you are sitting on the couch icing both butt cheeks and both sides of your stomach it feels that way. It takes a toll on your relationship. Having support for your partner is just as important as the support you need. You will know more about fertility and reproduction than you will ever want to know in this process. Celebrate the small things: successful night of shots meant a trip for ice cream; good bloodwork meant dinner and a movie. I couldn’t watch any movie that had pregnancy or babies in it, so we watched a lot of BAD 80s/early 90s movies.
THE UPS AND DOWNS OF TREATMENT
The two week wait is awful. I got good news twice and bad news once. I always questioned the good news and was waiting for the bad news. Don’t do that; enjoy the good news! I was attached to my babies from the minute they were transferred. Both losses were awful but you don’t know your strength until something like that happens.
The staff at SGF became my family. I never left a bloodwork check with Morgan without a hug. Dr. Isaac Sasson was just as excited as we were at our first ultrasound. Mel always held my hand to keep it from shaking. Words cannot express our journey with our SGF family. We have cried, laughed, hugged and held hands with probably 90% of the Chesterbrook staff through our journey. They were honest, compassionate, kind, understanding, brilliant, and amazing. They were our rocks when we were feeling down, our kicks in the butt when we questioned the journey, our shoulders to cry on when things didn’t go according to plan and our biggest cheerleaders at all times. I still cry when I think of the love that a group of strangers developed for our family. SGF will always be part of our family.
MY LIFE AFTER TREATMENT
After an unsuccessful in vitro fertilization (IVF) fresh transfer, a loss at 6 weeks, and the loss of a twin at 9 weeks, we have our Sadie. She is amazing. She has had some small medical issues but her spirit and determination are unbelievable. She is small but mighty. Right now, we are enjoying being parents but we do have one more embryo that is frozen.
HOLLY’S ADVICE FOR FUTURE PATIENTS
It’s okay to not be okay. People will say unbelievable things to you; try to remember their hearts are in the right place. When you feel like giving up, take a break and remember what all this is for and remember to take time for yourself and your partner.