Avoid These 4 Phrases if you Know Couples with Fertility Issues:

Couples with fertility issues and couples who are trying to conceive often feel pressure from friends, family, and even strangers when it comes to building their family. Often, well-meaning loved ones can say something innocently but it can come across as insensitive, or ask a seemingly innocuous question but it’s construed as intrusive. If you are a loved one or friend of someone who is trying to conceive or might be trying to conceive, we offer these questions and phrases as best to avoid, and four other phrases to use instead.

When are you having kids?

This question can be especially hurtful to struggling women and couples with fertility issues. It can be a longer process for some couples when age or other medical factors are involved. Chrissy Teigen, supermodel and wife of John Legend, recently opened up about her struggle, and said “Anytime somebody asks me if I’m going to have kids, I’m like, ‘one day, you’re going to ask that to the wrong girl who’s really struggling, and it’s going to be really hurtful to them.”

Read more about this story here.

Why don’t you just adopt?

Adoption, while a wonderful option, can be a long and arduous process.  The process can vary state to state, take an indefinite amount of time, and cost thousands of dollars. While adoption is wonderful thing, it is not for everyone, and it is definitely not a simple process. In a recent Babble article writer Leah Campbell writes,

“People seem to be so convinced that adoption is the perfect solution to infertility, but the truth is, one does not eradicate the other. There is no ‘baby store’ to wander into in the pursuit of your happy, healthy, perfect infant; and there is no magic eraser to wipe away the pain of not being able to carry that baby yourself. Adoption does not erase the scars of infertility, and infertility is not a reason alone to adopt.”

When you stop trying, you’ll get pregnant.

While there are a myriad of ways to boost a women’s fertility, medically or naturally, “trying to get pregnant” is a part of the process. While factors like stress, weight, and diet can affect a woman’s fertility, infertility is a medical diagnosis and a disease. RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association and partner of Shady Grove Fertility is very clear on the subject. They say, “Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it.”

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

Every couple, individual, and journey is unique. Deciding how, if, or when to move forward can be an intense, personal decision and hearing someone speculate about what is or is not meant to be can be extremely painful and hinder the process. Respecting the couple, or individual, and giving them enough space to decide on a plan for themselves can be one of the best things friends and family can do.

4 Helpful Phrases that Show Support for Couples Trying to Conceive

The best thing a friend or family member can do is to offer support, a listening ear, and to become informed. It would be very encouraging for friends and families members to show support through phrases like, “I care about you and what you’re going through.”

Some people also feel cared for when friends and family members show a genuine interest in the process (without offering advice). A phrase such as “Can you tell me more about …?” or “If ever you’d like to talk, know that I’m always here” might be a nice conversation starter that shows you have a genuine interest and offers your loved one the opportunity to open up if he/she chooses.

Another very positive way to show love is to commend their bravery and acknowledge their strength, endurance, and determination by saying, “Wow, you don’t give yourself enough credit. I admire how brave you are to have endured so much.”

Lastly, let them know “I will support you no matter what you choose.” This lets them know that they are free from judgment and that your love for them is unconditional—a truly powerful message to send.

For more information about infertility or issues with fertility please visit our website at www.shadygrovefertility.com or call us at 877-971-7755 to schedule an appointment. Couples with fertility issues often find support from our support team by attending support groups or one-on-one sessions.