Editors Note: This post has been updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness as of November 2026.
The best way to cope with infertility during the holidays is to plan ahead and take charge of your own calendar. Decide which gatherings matter, prepare a short answer for the questions you know are coming, and build in time that’s just for you. You don’t have to feel festive to get through the season.
“The holidays can bring up a lot of emotions for patients in treatment, and those feelings are a natural response to what they’re carrying,” shares Arielle Yeshua, M.D., a Reproductive Endocrinologist at SGF’s Solana Beach location. “Our care teams are here to support patients through the emotional side of fertility care, not just the medical side. Protecting your energy this season, whether that means setting boundaries or scaling back plans, is part of taking care of yourself.”
The holidays have a way of marking time. As the year wraps up, it’s natural to measure where you are against where you hoped to be, and that can make the season feel heavier when you’re facing infertility. Treatment doesn’t take a holiday break, either.
Here are some tips on navigating the holiday season:
1. Be choosy about invitations
Pick the gatherings that matter most to you and let the rest go. Skipping an event you’ve attended for a decade doesn’t mean you’ll never go again. If someone asks, “I can’t make it this year, but I hope to be there next year” is a complete answer.
2. Plan your exit before you arrive
Drive yourself so you can leave whenever you’re ready. Agree on a signal with your partner or a trusted friend that means “I need a break” or “rescue me from this conversation.”
3. Decide what you’ll share ahead of time
It’s your information, and not every question needs an answer. Have one short response ready, like “That’s something we’re keeping private for now,” and a topic to pivot to.
4. Give yourself permission to step away
If emotions rise during a gathering, take a few minutes outside or in another room. If someone notices, that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
5. Give in a different way
If holiday shopping has started to sting, change how you give this year. Make a donation in honor of the people you’d usually buy gifts for, or send a heartfelt card instead.
6. Curate your feed
Pregnancy announcements and holiday card photos tend to pile up in December. Mute or unfollow anything that adds to the comparison. You can re-follow in January.
7. Start a new tradition
Some traditions may feel too painful this year, and that’s okay. Instead of skipping the season entirely, focus on what you enjoy most and try something different: a weekend away, a new recipe, a movie marathon, or a quiet day with the people who make you feel most at ease. Think of it as time to recharge, not a holiday you’re missing.
8. Cover the basics
Sleep, regular meals, and time outside go a long way when your schedule fills up. If you’re in an active treatment cycle, ask your care team before changing your routine.
9. Lean on support
You don’t have to carry this alone. Your care team is a good place to start if you need support, and they can help point you toward resources. Lean on the people in your life who make you feel understood, too, and consider a community like RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, where you can connect with others who’ve been there.
Be generous with yourself
Whatever you’re feeling this season is part of you. Try to judge those feelings less and make room for them more. If the holidays are about generosity and kindness, extend some of that to yourself.
We’re here when you’re ready.
Medical contribution by Arielle Yeshua, M.D.
Arielle Yeshua, M.D., is Board Certified in Obstetrics and Gynecology and Board Eligible in Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility, and she sees patients at Shady Grove Fertility in Solana Beach, California.
