Lauren & Suraj

The early years

We were both spending our college summers working in Ocean City, MD when we met. We had a fantastic summer but as summer came to an end, our future was unsure. As we both returned to our home towns the distance only grew us closer together. I landed a career as a government contractor in Washington, D.C. and soon Suraj found himself transferring to a nearby college from Oklahoma so we could be together.

We got engaged 4 years later at the same place it all began, on the beach in Ocean City. In 2008, we gathered our closest family and friends and had the perfect wedding on the beach. We had always talked about having a family and in 2009 and decided it was time to move forward with our decision. After almost a year without success, it was time to seek help, which lead us to Shady Grove Fertility.

Finding a diagnosis

Our diagnosis was the easiest part of our journey, it was simple, male factor. My instant thought was we would never be able to have a family, not a blood relation to my husband. It was with great news that Dr. Naveed Khan of the Leesburg office directed us to see Dr. Paul Shin, a well-known urologist at Shady Grove Fertility. Our meeting couldn’t have been more positive. We decided to do a trial run and see if Suraj had any sperm that could be biopsied. When we found out this was possible, we froze that sperm and started our journey with IVF.

Thinking that this was an easy fix, we paid out of pocket for IVF with ICSI. When the boxes of medication showed up at our door, we were both excited and scared of what this process would entail. We took it one day at a time, one needle at a time. Thinking about it all at once was too much. Giving myself a shot in the belly for the first time is something I never thought I would be able to do. My husband held my hand and cried right along with me. I called my mother in another state, an RN, surely she could help. On speakerphone, she cheered me on and counted down. It took over an hour to get the courage, but once I did, I felt empowered. I was taking control of our future.

Our first cycle failed, we transferred two day 3 embryos and were not left with any to freeze. When our nurse, Chris Bishop, called with the news, you could tell she felt the same loss we did. We decided not to let this discourage us and the very next cycle we started again. This time we needed a second mortgage and opted for the Shared Risk 100% Refund Program. We couldn’t believe it when our embryos lasted to five days. We transferred two and ended up getting pregnant with twins. We were on top of the world, glowing with excitement. About 7 or 8 weeks in to the pregnancy, I had spotting. I immediately called Shady Grove Fertility and Dr. Khan saw me right away. Unfortunately, one of the twins did not continue to grow, a vanishing twin. After this, we had a smooth pregnancy and carried our son 41 weeks before being induced.

Returning to SGF for baby #2

When our son was just 6 months old we decided to try again. We did a FET with two of our six remaining blastocysts and got pregnant again. We couldn’t believe our kids would be just 14 months apart. Everything was moving along smooth until the morning of my 20 week ultrasound. I woke that morning and noticed my very active baby wasn’t being active. The baby did not like it when I laid on my stomach, so I headed back to bed to see if that would get the baby moving. I still did not feel anything. I was nervous but quickly reassured by my friend everything was going to be alright. We weren’t finding out gender but I was so excited to see my baby again during the ultrasound. When the tech got started I quickly noticed her frantically searching around on my belly. I knew before she said a word.

She told me she did not have good news for me and I finished her sentence. It was just the two of us in the room. She went to get the doctor and I frantically called my husband. He was an hour away but rushed as fast as he could. We held each other tight and held our 10 month old even closer that night.

Staying strong

We were still sure we wanted another baby and a few months later, after recovering both physically and mentally, we consulted with Shady Grove Fertility for another FET. We transferred two embryos and got pregnant again. We were over the moon.

The baby’s due date was 2 days after our son’s second birthday. Our baby was very closely monitored and it was so fun to watch our little boy grow every 2 weeks. At our 14 week appointment the ultrasound tech noticed something wasn’t right. She called the doctor and I was reliving my last pregnancy all over.

This time, the news was the baby only had half of a heart, hypo-plastic left heart syndrome. We were very optimistic and saw the pediatric cardiologist who confirmed the diagnosis. We planned for the baby to have open heart surgery right after being born, without it the baby wouldn’t survive.

It wasn’t until our 20-week appointment we learned that this baby had had a brain hemorrhage and would likely not survive a full term. We were lucky enough to get in right away with Children’s hospital. An entire day of scans and ultrasounds confirmed, this baby was also not going to survive. We lost the baby a few weeks later.

No one could believe that we still weren’t willing to give up. I am so glad we kept on going. We learned that I had a deletion on one of my X chromosomes. Because women can only pass on an X chromosome to their children, my offspring have a 50/50 chance of inheriting the chromosome with the deletion. We were fortunate that our first son inherited my “healthy” X chromosome, but our other two pregnancies were not so lucky they inherited my X chromosome with the deletion.

We moved forward with PGD testing. We had two remaining embryos. We had them thawed, biopsied, and refrozen while they tested to see if either of the embryos had inherited my X chromosome with the deletion.

Our miracle baby

They both came back healthy. We transferred both of the embryos and have the happiest, feistiest little girl. A little girl who is known to never give up. We have been told our family is complete, only time will tell. Our miracles mean the world to us.

Working with SGF

Working with Shady Grove Fertility has been a wonderful experience. From our first appointment, they provided the hope and guidance we were looking for. They took us under their wings and answered every question we had. Chris, our nurse, always showed how much she cared and quickly felt like family to us.

Throughout our extensive consultations and appointments with Shady Grove Fertility, they always knew what to say and how to say it. When it came time to perform the genetic testing on our embryos, it was necessary for us to be allowed to know the gender of the embryos because male offspring are more significantly impacted by my specific condition, as we knew from our previous losses.

Dr. Khan, without a doubt, agreed to present our case to the ethics committee for approval. Although we never found out the gender of the baby, because the PGD results showed that neither embryo had inherited my X chromosome with the deletion, it was important that we had the ability to make the decision to use an affected female embryo (one that did inherit the deletion) if that was our only option. Once we graduated from Shady Grove Fertility I truly missed the staff and smiling faces. I have even stopped in to say hello when I am passing through.

Advice to current and future patients

The best advice to any future or current patients is to take one day at a time. This process can be completely overwhelming and to think about it all at once is very intimidating. People are amazed at what we have been through and our perseverance, but without pushing through all the hard times we would not be where we are today. We are stronger, our relationship is stronger, and our love for our children is something many admire. Never give up. Often times it is necessary to change your protocol but be flexible and stay positive. No matter how it happens, if you never give up, you can be the parents you dream to be.