Kim & Felipe

Felipe and I met through our best friends, James and Julie. Felipe was in the Navy with James, and Julie was one of my best friends throughout high school and college. We met briefly once, but really hit it off at James and Julie’s wedding since he was a Groomsman and I was the Maid of Honor. We quickly bonded over a shared sense of humor and love of all things Disney.

We started dating, and a few years later, we got married in Florida. It was such a wonderful, warm, perfect day full of love!

Trying to conceive

I wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. My mom is amazing, and I wanted to be just like her. My husband and I started trying to have a baby when he graduated law school, never dreaming we’d have any trouble. Well, months and months passed by with nothing but perfectly timed periods and negative pregnancy tests. I can’t put into words how much I hate pregnancy tests. To this day, I’ve never had a positive at-home test until I stopped using them and we started fertility treatment!

Every test made me cry and I couldn’t understand why things weren’t working. I talked to my OB/GYN and she wasn’t concerned because I was “young.” I finally bothered her enough and she sent me for bloodwork, which came back normal. Next was the HSG, which was incredibly painful! Once that came back clear, my doctor agreed to refer me to Shady Grove Fertility.

Coming to Shady Grove Fertility

From our first meeting with Dr. Chason, we felt so much better! Dr. Chason understood that it wasn’t that we were in a rush to get pregnant, but that we had been trying for years now and were ready for a baby way back when we started! She went over our medical history and tests, and explained that we would start with IUI first, then move to IVF if that didn’t work. She discussed the statistics and success rates, so we understood our chances moving forward.

Starting treatment

We began our first round of IUI as soon as my next menstrual cycle started. I remember being scared, but I can’t say enough wonderful things about the SGF Annapolis staff! They were so welcoming and friendly every time we came in! My husband went to the majority of my appointments since the Annapolis location was so close to his office, and the staff remembered us very quickly!

During my first round, I had a cyst and ended up on birth control for a few days, which sounded counter-intuitive to me, but obviously, they know what they’re doing because it got rid of the cyst! I started a half dose of Clomid, which wasn’t enough, so I did another round with the full dose. This seemed to thin out my lining so when my eggs were ready, I had to start Estrace. We got two eggs that matured with this round. Taking that Ovidrel shot was a bit scary the first time, but it didn’t hurt much and it’s only one shot with IUI. It could be worse!

The day of my first IUI procedure, I was super nervous and worried about whether or not it would work, but I’m happy to report it was incredibly quick and I didn’t feel it at all! Unfortunately, when we went back two weeks later for the pregnancy test, it was negative. I shouldn’t have answered that phone call at work, but Jen (our nurse) was so sweet and caring when she gave me the bad news. She quickly told me we’d make some adjustments for the next round and asked that I call back on the first day of my period to get appointments set. I appreciated that she was sweet but quick, so I didn’t have to stay on the phone while trying not to completely break down! She was wonderful with this each cycle!

With cycle two, I was switched to Letrozole instead of Clomid, to avoid thinning my lining. It worked! My lining was much thicker, but I only got one egg. All I could think about was how it didn’t work last time, and this time I had half the chance since I had half as many eggs. I was still prescribed Estrace since my lining wasn’t the best, and that helped get it a bit thicker. With this cycle, I got my first positive pregnancy test ever! But it was a low positive, and over the next few days I had to keep going back to see if the levels increased…they didn’t. Instead, they zeroed back out by the third test. A biochemical pregnancy was the explanation.

Trying again

I decided it was best for me not to get overly hopeful as we moved forward with IUIs. I was having such a hard time emotionally. Surrounded by pregnant women at work, I found it heart-wrenching to be around them. I was fighting the feelings of jealousy and hate that I would well up every time I saw another ‘we’re pregnant’ post on social media. I wanted to be positive, but it felt like self-preservation required me to be more prepared for a negative outcome. I smiled, I played with the kids in our neighborhood, I kept going to appointments, but inside I was struggling.

Our third round came and went. Nothing new, just another negative. It was over the Christmas holiday, so we had to cut our family visit short to get back for treatment appointments, which was extra sad when it didn’t work out. At the beginning of round four, we had another meeting with Dr. Chason. She talked about some things we could try a little differently for the next rounds. We were doing six IUI attempts before moving on to IVF. I felt better after speaking with her. She did a wonderful job of reminding me how many more options there were, different medications and processes we could try. I started to feel a bit more hopeful, though still guarded about it.

Fourth time’s the charm

Cycle four was our miracle. I had a cyst again from a follicle that just didn’t do what it was supposed to do. Got that taken care of, then followed the same medications from cycles two and three. The day of the IUI came and went as the others had, and then we waited those two weeks until the blood test. I had a field trip with my students the day of the blood test, so I wasn’t in my office when Jen called with the results. I told myself I wasn’t going to answer, just let her leave a message with the bad news. But I answered anyway and this time, it was a positive! And a very strong positive at that!

My levels were three times higher than the first positive I had two cycles prior. Jen said they were right where they’d want them to be! I still had to go back two more times to watch and make sure the levels increased as they should, but this time was looking good! The next two blood tests were exactly what we wanted. After two more weeks, we went back for our first sonogram to see the baby! I was terrified that something would be wrong, or there wouldn’t be a heartbeat, but we got to see her and watch her little flashing heartbeat! My husband cried and for the first time, I let in the happiness that we were actually pregnant. We were going to be parents!

Our SGF miracle

Our baby girl was born on November 1, 2018, and she is such a happy, smiley, loving baby! She is the best thing my husband and I have ever done and I am grateful for every step along the way because it got us to her.

I will never be able to thank the Shady Grove Annapolis team enough for what they have given us! They were so loving, encouraging, and supportive during our roughest time. They made everything as painless as possible, and I found the process of appointments to be so efficient every morning! And when we ‘graduated,’ they were all so sincerely happy for us that I could feel how much they shared our joy! I don’t wish the struggles of infertility on anyone, but for anyone going through it, I wish them the loving, caring kind of team that we found at Shady Grove Fertility in Annapolis!

Advice to future patients

The best advice I have is to go easy on yourself. There was so much about the process that was emotionally draining, and there were many times I felt sad, angry, and defeated. It was easy to feel jealous of couples who got pregnant easily and didn’t have the same struggles.

Allow yourself to feel all of those things without judging yourself. You’re not a bad person for having any of those feelings, and you don’t have to be positive and upbeat every single day. It’s ok not to talk to people about it, but it’s also ok to be super open! Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself sane during this time.

I always secretly hated when people told me “it’ll happen for you” because there was no way they could know that for sure. Instead, I’ll wish all the future patients so much luck. Sending all of the positive baby vibes their way!