Kathy & Paul

My husband Paul and I met while working in a local hospital’s Emergency Room. We married a few years later, and had our daughter Kiersten after 3 years of trying, in my late 20s. Things were going well, from my perspective: a wonderful husband, a beautiful Gerber baby, and a nice home. The only thing missing was a sibling for Kierste.

We tried to have another baby quickly after Kiersten was born. Months turned into years. Since it took us a few years to have Kiersten, I thought it would take a similar timeframe again. But, as we came upon five years, we were beyond anxious and concerned.

I remember the devastation I felt after going to my OBGYN, and seeing the fee ticket marked as ‘infertility.’ I felt doomed.

Infertility

My OBGYN was not as worried as I was. He spoke about a ‘luteal phase defect,’ and gave me progesterone. I didn’t really understand what that meant, and why that was preventing our conceiving. I needed more answers, and decided to seek out specialists.

But, in the early-mid 1990’s, there were not that many fertility centers in this area. I went to one not far from our home. The doctor was nice, listened to our story, and after some testing told us we had a male factor. We tried a few IUI’s, and spoke about moving on to IVF. They were vague about their success rates for IUI as well IVF (things weren’t published as they are now, with Society for Assisted Repoductive Technology (SART) or the Center for Disease Control (CDC), and I wasn’t savvy enough to know that cycle statistics were a key piece of information in which to evaluate a fertility center.

On a quest for knowledge

I wanted so much to LEARN about infertility! But, I wasn’t in the ‘reproductive endocrinology’ field. I had a summer internship in college at NIH. That experience had taught me about the NIH Clinical Center Library in Bldg 10. I went to NIH and looked in their medical library. Though I searched, I couldn’t find any books on infertility, and quickly learned why: most of the information was very new and still evolving! All of the information was in journals, as it wasn’t ‘standard fare’ yet. The medical and nursing journals at the time had a small number of articles on this dynamic and ‘new’ field of fertility medicine.

While I was searching for written information about reproductive medicine, I saw a nursing position advertised at Shady Grove Fertility Center in Rockville, MD. I thought that in pursing a clinical nursing position there, I’d get a good education about this disease affecting my life.

Even though I was still in treatment at another center, I was amazed when I came to Shady Grove Fertility. There was education and information offered and shared each step of the way. Everything was transparent–even the way they calculated statistics. The care about the individual/couple was palpable. I felt that, if I were to be successful, I, too, should be a patient here. I felt relieved when I had a discussion with Dr. Levy about becoming a patient at SGF.

Moving to Shady Grove Fertility

While a bit nervous initially, I was quickly put at ease when seeing Dr. Levy. He treated Paul and I in exactly the same way I had seen him treat other New Patients. He made sure that Paul and I understood our situation and the options we had available. We learned, through more thorough clinical testing, that our male factor was quite severe, and only amenable to IVF. While our insurance covered testing and injectable medications, it did not cover the actual IVF treatment. Dr. Levy and the financial team worked with us to insure our care was provided at a level that we could afford what a relief that was.

Our cycle wasn’t picture-perfect, but no one gave up on us. The stimulation did not go as well as planned, and there was concern with our male factor (ICSI was not standard treatment in the early 90’s). We were given objective updates, concerns, and also encouragement. It was beyond miraculous to hear that our first beta was strongly positive.

Life-changing events

It’s been 21 years since I went through fertility treatment at Shady Grove Fertility. My beautiful ‘IVF baby’ is now a sophomore in college, studying elementary education. She has babysat for neighbors who have their first ‘SGF sonograms’ tacked onto their refrigerator doors. We’ve had discussions that, should she teach in this area, she will likely have ‘Shady Grove babies’ in her classroom!

Going through the experience of infertility has changed my life in both obvious, as well as unexpected ways. My desire to learn more about my own infertility led me to Shady Grove Fertility as a career and then later as a patient. Over the past 20 years at SGF I have been moved by the hundreds of patients that I have had the privilege and opportunity to help. I can see the same unbelieving, yet expectant desire in their eyes and hearts, that we had while trying to build our family.

My hope for each woman with whom I worked was that she, too, would experience the best that treatment in this field has to offer. As the current Supervisor of Clinical Education, I seldom work with patients on a one-on-one basis. Yet, I get to work with each new and seasoned nurse that is helping a countless number of patients/couples become families. I can’t think of a more exciting, important or more hopeful place to be.

My advice to patients

I never used to want to share my personal story. It was my way of avoiding pain, if things “didn’t work;” we had been trying for over 7 years.

I now think it’s important to share stories—doing so gives others hope for success, as well as inspiration to continue the often difficult journey!

If I could be a ‘fertility patient whisperer,’ I’d share the following:

At Shady Grove Fertility, you are very much in the best place—medically, emotionally, financially

The Shady Grove Fertility staff WANTS you to succeed; they are invested in your care and treatment here

Read, watch, learn, ask questions: the more you know and understand can help you feel in control of your experience

Seek support from others – having a shoulder to lean on during an arduous journey can help your endurance

Trust yourself, that you are on the right path. If this is an important dream of yours, you are right, and supported, in following it through.

Things may not always turn out exactly as you had planned; be flexible for the changes that may come down your road.

Never doubt that you are in the best clinic to help you achieve your most precious and heart-felt dreams!