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Ask Courtney: The Back Up Plan

Oh, the beauty of movies and Hollywood! Where else can we vicariously experience the rarely-ever-realistic aspects of human life we desire? Nowhere. So, thank heaven for all of those romantic comedies filled with optimism and fairy tale endings.

One such movie, which mind you I would not recommend rushing out to Red Box to pick up, is The Back Up Plan. In terms of the acting, it’s mediocre and it probably goes without saying that the authenticity in which the film attempts to explore fertility treatment is sub-par, but I digress. The concept of the movie is what it is important and as such it’s the fuel for this week’s blog. In the film, Jennifer Lopez, our happy-go-not-so-lucky muse is satisfied with her career and delighted with life in general, but still lacks the perfect man with which to start a family. So, what comes next you ask? She goes on a quest over the river and through the woods to locate Mr. Right? Not so much. She just decides to do what more and more women are doing these days and that is to conceive sans partner.

I kid you not when I say I actually had a woman ask me a few months ago if it was something that could even be done. When I replied that it was absolutely possible, she breathed a huge sigh of relief and told me she was so happy to hear it. She went on to explain that she thought she must be the only woman in the world trying to do this. I was a bit baffled by her confession as I wondered how a woman might believe that there were not thousands, if not millions, out there thinking along the same lines. Then it hit me, of course she wouldn’t know because it is something from which, we as a society, shy away.

Out with the antiquated view on womanhood, let’s forge ahead, conquer our lives and dominate each day! We get so wrapped up in accomplishing these goals that other facets of life seem to fall to the wayside – in this case, finding that elusive perfect man. So where does that leave our heroine? Let’s say for the sake of example, she is now 41 years old and still single. Her biological clock is just a-ticking and try as she might no amount of match-making seems to be doing the trick. She wants children one day, but how can she accomplish that without a man there to make up the second part of the equation? It takes two to tango right? Wrong.

Here at Shady Grove Fertility, we are seeing a growing number of single women coming out from the shadows and sharing their frustrations. With the advent of Fertility Preservation, many women are rushing through the gates trying to get in for appointments to discuss their options. But, in the case of our Jane Doe, at 41 we cannot offer the option of preservation because the prognosis for success down the road would be bleak. Is she down? Is she out? No way! Many of our potential patients are showing increasing interest in exploring IUI or IVF using donor sperm. While we do not have our own sperm bank, we can easily work in conjunction with a cryo-bank to facilitate your treatment at SGF. Our most common go-to clinic is Fairfax Cryobank in Fairfax, Virginia; though one could just as easily go through any legitimate facility regardless of your location. To make the outlook even brighter, the process is simple! One only needs to come in for a new patient appointment with us, then select a donor via the cryo-bank of their choice, and after acquisition of the sperm sample, the female can proceed with either IUI or IVF as planned – success rates vary by age and diagnosis of course :)

Which brings us full circle to The Back Up Plan and the lovely Lopez lying on the examination table, her legs elevated for 15 minutes allowing the insemination process to complete itself. As she waddles out of the office, completely glowing with her knees clinched together, she literally bumps right into the oh-so-hunky Alex O’Loughlin. Sparks of animosity ensue between the two, and as our script always goes, those turn into flames of passion. Despite the fact that she later informs him that she is pregnant with twins using donor sperm, our chivalrous man stands his ground by her side and they live happily ever after.

So, I can’t exactly guarantee you the exact same outcome. I mean, let’s think about it – what are the odds that something like that scenario would happen? Probably one in a trillion, right? But fear not, because the odds are not so limiting for our single women out there looking to make their dreams come true despite lacking a partner.

To all the single ladies out there, who don’t have a guy to put a ring on it or who aren’t even looking, put your hands up in solidarity and feel comfort in knowing you are not alone. Feel joy in knowing that when you feel good and ready, we are behind you 100% of the way to make sure your happily ever after comes true.

And who knows…maybe then Mr. Darcy will waltz right up to your door.

To contact Courtney, simply comment on this post or email blog@shadygrovefertility.com.

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