Radell is a 34 year old entrepreneur living in the Washington, D.C., area. She happens to be single, and after a few years of contemplation, decided to freeze her eggs at Shady Grove Fertility. Following her decision to freeze and after completing her egg freezing cycle, she had the desire to spread awareness about egg freezing by sharing insight and advice for women who are considering this option. Over the next few months, Radell will be writing blogs describing this experience from her point of view.
What Happens After You Freeze? The Big Freeze Litmus Test.
Who saw Shady Grove Fertility’s name in bright lights (okay, and my name too?!) in the April issue of ELLE magazine?! Do you know why SGF is in ELLE Magazine this month? Because when the media wants to report on all things egg freezing, they turn to the leader in this industry for an insider’s point of view. If you have the mag, check out When Should I Tell Him I Froze My Eggs? on pages 295 to 296, or click here!
Why exactly did ELLE magazine want to talk about egg freezing and dating? Because it’s new and it’s complicated! So many judgments, both before and after the freeze. Everyone seems to have comments. Do you know whose comments are the most important? Your own. Maybe, coming in a close second, is anyone else in your immediate world, as well as someone you bring into your world to date and/or form a partnership with.
The big freeze and its role in the dating life is a very important topic to discuss. My comments in ELLE’s article mention that I use egg freezing as a dating litmus test, of sorts! Can we talk about this, please? The male response to your/our/my decision are important, hence litmus test. Here’s why.
Will Proceed or Will Not Proceed
After a man responds to my decision, I then place him in a box: will proceed or will not proceed. What box he moves to is completely dependent on him and his response to my decision to freeze.
Let’s assume he passes the litmus test and is placed in the “will proceed” box. If this is the case, his answers to my big freeze decision are something like this:
- If he is comfortable with my decision, he’s likely to be a grounded individual.
- If he respects my decision, he’s likely to be a confident man.
- If he finds the technology behind it interesting, then he most likely values science and our intellectual advancements as a human race.
- If he views the big freeze as an insurance policy, then yes, he gets it.
All of that speaks to what I value in a person, what I value in myself, and what I want in a partner. I want someone who understands the dynamics of the world we live in, while taking mature decisions and responsibility for the world and the future of it. And if the man I am dating gets these layers and has the ability to pause, reflect, and discuss with me the where, when, and the WHY, then I like him and he passes the big freeze litmus test.
However, I should mention and place emphasis on something that is just as important: Getting to the point where I would share my decision with someone, that is a whole other story! Not every date gets to hear this information. Why? Well, maybe that’s my next blog! Stay tuned…
Xo
Radell
