Three Coworkers, One Surprising Secret

Like many Shady Grove Fertility patients, Andrea says that she and her husband Tim couldn't imagine telling anyone about their infertility struggles. But when she learned that two of her co-workers were also having trouble conceiving, a bond was instantly formed. Now, Andrea says that she doesn't know how she would have made it through her treatment without the support of the two women.

Turning to Friends and Family Can Be Complicated

Andrea’s journey began two years prior when she and her husband Tim had tried to conceive on their own. For more than a year, each month brought the same roller coaster of emotion - hope and then disappointment.

“I just kept thinking, ‘Why is this happening to us? Why can’t we be ‘normal’ and get pregnant like everyone else?’” Andrea said. “Looking back, even with all the stress associated with my treatment, that initial period was the hardest time for me.”

Tim could see how hard this was for Andrea and he felt that they needed an outlet for their stress. Family was the first place they considered, but Andrea had gotten more than her fair share of pressure from family about having kids. So, while Andrea told her parents about her struggles, they decided not to tell the rest of the family to avoid additional pressure to an already stressful situation.

Tim then suggested they talk to their friends, but Andrea wasn't so sure. Like many couples in their 30s, most of their friends had already entered the all-encompassing, 24-7 world of babies. They were having babies, talking about babies, and sharing pictures of everything their babies did.

"I just didn't think they would understand what we were going through," Andrea explains. "And if I did get pregnant, I wanted them to just feel happy for us like they would for anyone else, without thinking about this whole struggle we were going through."

Taking the First Step

Finally, one day, Andrea was having lunch with her good friend Abby at work. They started talking about trying to get pregnant. Andrea took the first step and opened up to her about the diagnostic testing she and Tim were doing at her OB/Gyn. As Andrea soon found out, Abby was already in treatment at Shady Grove Fertility. Abby began to tell Andrea all about her experience, and even referred the couple to her doctor.

“Looking back,” she says, "I fought sharing the fact that we were struggling to get pregnant with other people. But once I did, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from me."

Abby became like a mentor to Andrea, prepping her for all the steps that infertility diagnosis and treatment would entail. Andrea was incredibly relieved to have someone who understood what she was going through.

“Accepting that we needed help in getting pregnant was a major hurdle for me,” she said. “Having the support of someone who had already taken the first steps in her fertility journey made that hurdle easier for me to get over.”

Sharing the Struggle

A few months later, Diane, another co-worker, began to discuss her frustrations about trying to conceive with Andrea. Just as Abby had done for her, Andrea shared her experience with Diane. In fact, Andrea referred Diane to Shady Grove Fertility, and the three women starting talking on a regular basis about their journey.

"I would meet each of them for lunch a couple of times a month and discuss our treatments, medications and overall experience," Andrea says. "I travel a lot for work, so I also spent a lot of time on the phone with them when I was on the road."

The support went well beyond their talks. Since all three of them were going to the same Shady Grove Fertility office, it made it convenient for them to help each other out with picking up medications and supplies.

"If I was traveling and needed something, injection, supplies or a prescription, one of them would offer to go and pick it up for me,” said Andrea. “It was incredible."

She adds that even their husbands benefited from the friendship.

"Diane and her husband would come over for dinner and she and I would start talking about where we were in our treatment. So, our husbands just naturally started talking about it too,” Andrea explains. “It was good for all of us."

Even though they each had a different diagnosis, the important thing to Andrea was that they were all supporting each other and were able to understand first-hand the physical and emotional aspect of fertility treatments.

"The biggest thing was that they listened and they understood that our ‘normal’ was different from other peoples,” she said. “Instead of continuing to ask, 'why us?' we were able to support each other with every step, move forward, and be hopeful."

Sharing the Joy

After sharing the pains of infertility together, the three women were able to share they joys. Andrea remembers how happy she was when Abby told her that she was pregnant.

"I was so happy for her. It really gave me hope,” Andrea remembers.

Diane was the next to get pregnant. And then it was Andrea’s turn to receive the good news that she had waited so long to hear. She and Tim will soon be welcoming twin girls into their lives.

"After all the stress and worry, I was ecstatic to hear that our family was going to be expanding,” she says.

Andrea says that she is looking forward to celebrating many more happy times with her two close friends and their Shady Grove Fertility babies.

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